GRAZING GRASS

For the heck of it.. I decided to graze ‘grass’ and test my endurance level.. 2 months past and I seem to be holding up pretty well with exception of some moments when I see seafood and salivate.

During these two treacherous months (for my friends, that is), people around me have been so accommodating and that was a pleasant surprise.. this includes my holiday at Perhentian when my friends (Julie, Nigel, Gwen and Celeste) ensured that I had food everywhere we went.. Spanning my circle further to my business trip to Penang.. my colleagues (Joe and Carole) also ensured that I had sufficient grass to graze on.. My other buddies (ATMAH Angels, etc), have been very supportive of my feat as well..

But the most supportive of all is my better half… the carnivorous man he is.. has patiently sat through many painful (for him) nights for dinner with me at our favourite haunts and not said a word about not having meat at our meals..

Now enough that my friends have to endure my non-meat eating feat, they also have to endure my non-alcohol drinking principle as well..

But my darling pals, I have to say.. I am unsure if I am feeling healthier due to my grass intake or more work mode.. but it sure is a change.. and it feels even better when your clothes fit better and you are 10 lbs lighter..

So friends.. thank you for being there.. I am yet to decide how long this will be.. for the moment I am still contented with grass and coke..

Love you all
me

SAY IT.. AS IT IS... AND SO IT IS...

Last week, despite me writing very clearly declining a fantastic offer of reciting some phrases in public.. I had calls from the organisers completely disregarding my email and assuming I am still interested to recite for them..

My issue was not being able to tell them to take a hike.. I was mincing my words.. but not really.. I wrote in my very first line.. “Thank you for the fantastic offer, however I will have to decline this time around as I am kind of tied up with….” Tell me that was not clear enough.. I wonder now.. from how I look at it.. that is super duper clear that I am unable to make it right..

So here I am.. calling a close friend to huff and puff about the scenario.. and he literally slapped me (with words of course) He said.. you should just tell them as it is and so it is or will be..

At that point of time I realised that I was actually still being nice.. I was not to being so forthcoming.. even though amongst friends I am quite forth right..

So the story continues.. now back to the story.. I actually told them.. sorry no can do.. and the person on the other line did not sound apologetic that she assumed otherwise.. but rather irritated that I was turning down the offer..

Hhmmm serves me right for still trying to be nice… That day I decided that I shall SAY IT.. AS IT IS...

just a thot.

dhena

MY HUMBLE GRATITUDE TO PARAMAHAMSA NITHYANANDA

Enlightened NOT.. Empowered YES.. 7 days after the Nithyananda Spurana Program and I feel like its been a lifetime of practising it.. As I sit down to write this, I sense energy travel from my tail bone, up my spine through my third eye out my crown chakra..

I seeked and I found.. My exposure to religion was very much going to temple and of course the all time favourite Amar Chitra Katha series.. I used to spend hours reading them.. My first exposure to discourses provided by Guru’s to their disciples was in these books too.. the relationship between a Guru and his disciple intrigued me very much.. never understood it.. but sure was curious..

Last weekend, at Berjaya Hills Resort I experienced it.. the 4 days program put many things in perspective for me.. whilst, many might argue that it’s all relative.. Here, I am sharing my experience..

I have read books that spoke about the 7 energy layers (this is besides the 7 chakras) in a human body but no book could explain to me in simple terms without me having to pore through dictionaries and other reference materials. The 7 energy layers namely physical, pranic, mental, etheric, causal, cosmic and nirvanic – are the layers that a soul has to part from when a person passes on.

My privileged self not only spent the 4 days with Paramahamsa Nithyananda but had an opportunity to explore within with questions that bugged me most.. Why am I unhappy despite all the material successes? How can I achieve emotional balance? What is my true purpose in life? Am I more than just flesh and bones? What is beyond life and death?

No words can describe what I experienced.. but I do know that I am here for a purpose and I am ready to fulfill that.. One thing was clear when I left the hills, Bliss was within reach.. it’s within not without..

In bliss,
dhena

I SEE LIGHT

I see light.. I see light at the end of the tunnel..

The current political scene or scheme makes me want to puke.. I see light then i come to a mirage.. I see light again then I am gain cheated with a mirage.. thus i shut my eyes and decide to see with my heart.. and now I am blinded.. I am blinded by the selfish and greedy politicians around us..

Moving further into my own life.. I realised 2 weeks ago that I am a control freak.. So what does this mirror for me.. Many things.. one of it is the fact that I always want to be in the driver's seat.. hhhmm.. i think i like the attention i get when i am in the driver's seat..

After having thought through for almost 2 weeks.. i have come to an understanding that i am a control freak.. i accept that.. and now am willing to learn how to be a good follower i.e. keep my mouth shut and listen..

At the end of the day, be it politicians, be it our mothers, fathers, colleagues, bosses, teachers actually almost everyone.. we want to be in control of our lives.. it's difficult to let go i can vouch for that.. but we have to start somewhere..

just a thot..

d

UNCERTAINTY AND HOPE..

Am back after very long silence.. not that I have stopped having opinions.. but rather just caught up with JUST LIVING..

I am a disgruntled road user just as per many of my friends and foe.. i have been stuck in ridiculous traffic for no apparent reason.. thanks to the government for caring for our security.. but then again… it sure seem to me like a scaring tactic put forth to instil fear and uncertainty amongst us citizens.

Since March 8, we have been uncertain and that’s a fact!!! Coming to think of it, uncertainty has loomed our lives since time immemorial.. There is a small percentage of uncertainty that peeks in almost anything we can think of.. there is no certainty in what we did yesterday, just now or even miliseconds ago.. its all relative..

Such, we can conclude that at the point of uncertainty.. HOPE steps in..

Just a thot,
d

Challenges, Challenges, Challenges..

We face challenges everyday.. The test for us beings on earth, is how we proact or react.. The way respond or correspond may make or break us..

Post Elections.. The recent turn of events is a going to prove to be an uphill challenge for many.. for the ruling government to exercise lesser power will be a challenge.. for the opposition to work in a team of diverse people might prove to be a challenge as well.. The Malaysian government agencies will need to acclimatize to new policies and procedures.. Agencies and organisations working with the government on local and federal projects will be affected as well.. We, the rakyat will be affected in one way or the other.. We must have to brave the stormy weathers to emerge as winners..

Moving beyond elections.. to me.. i am challenged too.. i started a new job.. from a field of familiarity to a field of unfamiliarity.. the only thing that rings in my ear.. is a quote that caught my attention 15 years ago..

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. ~ Alvin Toffler

I know its going to be an uphill task for me to move forward.. so what.. life is a roller coaster ride for many.. and so it is.. with God’s love and guidance anything is possible..

Love,
dhena

Perseverance.. My Lesson Learnt At Taman Negara

It was yet another interesting weekend with the ATMAH Project team.. a group of people from diverse backgrounds converge together towards one goal.. this time around it was camping in Taman Negara..

Through the rough terrains.. I persevered
With my bad back.. I persevered..
With my monkey mind telling me stop.. I persevered..
With my blistered feet.. I persevered..
And yes.. I finally did attain my goals.. I conquered the better parts of Taman Negara..

For fellow current and ex-zubedyans.. it felt good to be committed with action and savour the results.. many would have admired the spectacular view from the top.. but for me.. the exhilaration of completing the journey was spectacular enough..

There was one song that came to mind at that point..

I am on top of the world looking
Down on creation and the only explanation that I found..
Its the love that i have ever since you been around..
Your love puts me at the top of the world..

I felt like I was enveloped by the arms of the Universe.. it was a wonderful feeling.. the spirits were high though tired and I learnt many lessons that night.. thank you my darling pals for walking with me through this lesson and showing me another side of you..

• Susie for that smile that never wears off your face even in the most awkward moments
• Kana for the love and care you have for all of us.. you just have so much to give
• Vicky for your determination and wit that kept many of us going..
• Leena for your sense and sensibility..
• Revathy for your charm that got many tickled in their toes
• Kathir for your confidence
• Vela for us the other side of you that no one ever knew existed..
• Shantakumar for that brave front you put at most times..
• Renga the knight in shining armour.. need I say more..
• Liza the patience you had with many of us through our cooking sessions
• Kumar for ensuring we all took the final step together..

Lastly, in the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins -- not through strength but by perseverance ~Jackson Browne

Love you all..
dhena